Candace's Farting Problem
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Another typical episode of Phineas and Ferb, only it has Candace farting in it. Let's be honest, you all watch this for Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
1. Chapter 1

**Candace's Farting Problem  
**

**By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus**

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: ...Yeah, I need to think of better ideas.

* * *

"Phineas, Ferb, what are you doing?" Candace asked Phineas and Ferb, her hands on her hips, with her wearing her tight blue jeans and a white shirt instead of her normal white skirt and red shirt. Both of the boys were sitting by the giant brown tree in their backyard.

Phineas waved to Candace. "Oh hi, Candace! We're just thinking of what to do, right Ferb?"

Ferb nodded his head in agreement.

Candace stared at her two intelligent brothers, folding her arms. "I don't trust either of you. Something weird is going to happen, I just know it."

Candace's stomach grumbled loudly, with Phineas chuckling as Ferb wrapped his arms around the back of his head. Candace blushed slightly as she placed both of her arms around her stomach.

"I just so happen to be, uh, hungry! Yeah!" Candace exclaimed, trying to cover for her growling stomach.

As Phineas was about to comment, Candace farted loudly, her jeans puffing up as her eyes widened. Phineas smiled widely as he laughed, with Ferb rubbing his chin with his left hand. Candace froze in shock and embarrassment, letting out another deep pitched poot that echoed.

"This should be interesting..." Ferb muttered as he blinked.

Meanwhile, far off at Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz's evil incorporated lab, Doof was sitting on his blue couch of the week, having tea with Perry The Platypus.

"You know, I wonder why the author hasn't given me a fanfic of my own." Doof asked Perry as Perry shrugged in response, both sipping their tea in unison. "I mean, it could be about you stopping me and my exploits of taking over the tri state area, but I figure he has other things in mind."


	2. Chapter 2

Doof continued sipping his tea with Perry as he was trying to think of something to do, something that for once didn't involve anything evil.

"I was thinking of actually helping out someone, anyone," Doof stated as he tapped his fingertips together. "I mean, if I want my eventual control over the tristate area to be effective, I have to make myself known in the public through good deeds and then shock everyone by turning on them."

Perry rubbed the back of his head with his left hand as he stared at Doof oddly.

Doof nodded his head in response as he glanced at Perry. "I can see your point, Perry. However..." He continued rubbing his chin with his right hand. "There has to be somewhere, anywhere that needs my help."

* * *

"...Oh, I need help," Candace muttered as she had her hands on her big butt, farting again as she was still embarrassed.

Phineas stood up as he pointed at Candace with his right hand. "Candace, your passing gas is giving me an idea. We can make use of it as alternate fuel!"

Candace growled at Phineas as she snapped at him. "What!? No way!" Another tuba like toot emerged from her butt, making her groan as she closed her eyes, tilting her head back. "Oh, if Jeremy knew that I was capable of farting like this, there's no way he would marry me!" She paused as she widened her eyes, a deep pitched poot breaking the beat. "I mean, no way he would willingly be my boyfriend for life!"

Ferb snapped his fingers as he stood up. "Perhaps I have a way to help you." He stated as he wrapped his left arm around Candace, felling her fart on his arm as they headed into the garage, with Phineas following them.


	3. Chapter 3

Ferb and Phineas finished making a few strange objects, with Candace watching as she had her arms folded, unintentionally letting out loud farts still. Ferb then turned around, holding a squeezable wrench.

"A wrench that's squeezable?" Candace gawked as she shook her head. "Are you kidding me?"

"Well, as soon as you start squeezing it, it'll force your body to place priorities on your other parts." Ferb stated as he handed Candace the wrench. "Try it."

Candace glanced at the wrench, then at Ferb, pointing at him with her right index finger. "Don't get cheap with me, Ferb."

Ferb shrugged as Phineas watched, still having his usual smile on his face. Candace sighed as she closed her eyes, clenching the squeezing wrench. For two minutes, it seemed to have worked, as Candace didn't feel anything in her stomach, making her smile as Ferb and Phineas high five each other. Then, as soon as Candace stopped squeezing, she let out another deep pitch poot, causing a brown stain to appear on the back of her blue jeans. Glancing back at her butt to see the brown stain, Candace started crying as she tilted her head up, closing her eyes.

"Augh, this is terrible!" Candace sobbed as Phineas and Ferb tried comforting her. "Unless I squeeze this wrench I'll keep farting til the end of my days, and now I baked brownies in my oven! Why me!?"


	4. Chapter 4

Doof got off of his sofa as he started walking back and forth, thinking as he rubbed his chin with his left hand, with Perry simply sitting there. "Quick, Perry, give me some suggestions, I need some brain food to think."

Perry simply blinked as he shrugged.

Doof groaned as he turned to Perry. "Oh gee, Perry The Platypus, that really helped me out! You know, why do I ask you for help?" He retorted as he pointed at Perry. "Every time I try to think of something, you don't give me enough criticism to make me think on how to make it better! How am I suppose to help out people before I put my ultimate plan for you to foil into action?"

Perry moved his tongue about as he felt an injury on it, with Doof groaning as he tossed his arms in the air.

"Oh, **it's no use!**" Doof stated as he searched for a phone book. "I'll go and call that Silver The Hedgehog fellow and ask him to send us pizza. But there must be someone anywhere here in this city that needs my help!"

* * *

"There must be someone anywhere here in this city that can help me!" Candace shouted as she was sitting on the smooth green grass of her backyard, letting out another deep pitch poot as she cried, with Phineas and Ferb patting her on the back simultaneously to comfort her.


	5. Chapter 5

Candace continued crying as she kept on tooting, with Phineas and Ferb still comforting her as Isabelle strolled by, wearing her normal pink outfit.

"Hey guys, what'cha doing?" Isabelle greeted as she held her hands together.

Phineas smiled as he turned to Isabelle. "Oh, hey Isabelle. Candace here has a farting problem."

Isabelle giggled as she closed her eyes. "She does, huh? Reminds me of the time when I had one."

Ferb turned his head to Isabelle. "You think you know of a way to get Candace to stop?" He asked.

Isabelle looked around as she shook her head. "Sorry, guys, I don't. But maybe you guys can invent something!"

"That's what they just did," Candace groaned as she narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "And it's clearly not working."

As Ferb was about to respond with a rebuttal, Isabelle farted loudly, the back of her pink dress lifted as Isabelle gasped in shock, her hands covering her mouth. Phineas and Ferb chuckled as Isabelle blushed in embarrassment, giggling sheepishly as Candace didn't feel any better.

"Oh my, excuse me!" Isabelle giggled as she let out another deep pitched poot, with Candace farting louder in response.


	6. Chapter 6

Candace and Isabelle continued farting with each other as Phineas and Ferb were thinking of a new invention to make, when Buford the bully, who was pretty friendly for a bully, popped up, wondering what stupid yet fun thing the boys were doing today.

"So, what's going on, I take it?" Buford asked as he folded his burly arms.

Candace farted as she lifted her left leg, holding it with both of her hands as she felt her jeans puff up. "I turned into a fart factory, what else?"

"Just like me!" Isabelle giggled as she held her hands together, sitting down next to the flatulent Candace.

Buford nodded his head as he had his usual stern look on his face. "I can clearly see that, yes." He then turned to Phineas and Ferb. "And you're trying to help her get rid of this gas, right?"

"Exactly, Buff!" Phineas stated as he nodded his head, with him and Ferb working on a stupidly complicated machine.

Buford shrugged as he shook his head. "Well, I might as well stay. I got nothing better to do with all my free time," He admitted bluntly as he helped out Phineas and Ferb.


	7. Chapter 7

Candace groaned as she had her hands on her face, still farting away as Isabelle comforted her, while Phineas and Ferb were still working on a new invention that was ridiculously complicated, with Buford helping out. Stacy, Candace's best friend, popped up.

"Hey, girlfriend? What's up?" Stacy greeted as she waved.

Candace farted loudly in response, making her narrow her eyes at Stacy. "More like what's down. I just don't understand how wearing these pants could make me gassy!"

Stacy gasped as she held her hands together. "No way! I was gassy like that, too!"

"You were?" Candace, Isabelle, Phineas, Ferb, and Buford all stated in unison, shocked.

Stacy nodded her head as she folded her arms. "Yeah, I was. But then I met this nice guy with this weird white coat and a pointy nose, and some brown hair, and he managed to help me out." She paused as she blinked. "I think." She rubbed the back of her head with her right hand. "I don't remember how exactly, but I stopped farting like crazy."

"I think I might know who you're talking about!" Candace stated as she got up, grabbing both of Stacy's arms. "Do you know where he lives?"

Stacy blinked as she stared at Candace, glancing up at the sky. "Well... not exactly..."

Meanwhile in the sky, Doof was riding in a purple blimp with his face on it, with Perry riding alongside him to keep an eye out. Doof looked around for anyone to help out.

"There must be someone..." Doof mumbled as he looked through some binoculars, with one of his robots piloting the blimp. Perry was also looking alongside Doof with his own pair of binoculars.


	8. Chapter 8

Doof sighed as he shook his head, dropping his arms. "Oh, I give up! There's no way I'm going to fine anyone to help!"

Perry decided that he had enough of Doof giving up so easily, and so he slapped Doof across the face with his tail. Doof screamed as he fell off the blimp, flailing his arms about as he landed in a conveniently placed blue beanbag by the group of kids.

"Oh look, Candace, there's the guy I was talking about!" Stacy exclaimed as she pointed at Doof.

Doof groaned as he rubbed the back of his head with his right hand, mumbling to himself. "Perry The Platypus sure can leave a mark when he hits..." He then glanced in front of him to see all of the kids smiling. "Err, do any of you kids need any help?"

Candace farted loudly as she felt her brown stained pants puff up, standing up as she folded her arms. "Yes, you nice pharmacist, you can help me and my strange gassiness."

"Gassiness, huh...?" Doof murmured as he stood up, rubbing his chin with his left hand as Perry hid in the bushes nearby, watching cautiously as Doof tried to think of ways to help Candace out.


	9. Chapter 9

Candace Flynn farted loudly again as she sighed, her arms wrapped around the back of her head as she waited for Doof to do his magic. Phineas and Ferb folded their arms as they watched with interest, with Isabelle and Stacy sitting down next to Candace as Buford watched next to Ferb, with Perry still inside the bushes as Doof finished his newest invention.

"Behold, young ladies and gentlemen, the **Stopthegasinator!**" Doof exclaimed as he rubbed his chin with his right hand. "I have no complex backstory for it, because I just came up with it on the spot!"

"This will cure my gassiness, right?" Candace asked as she felt worried.

Doof laughed as he waved his hands at Candace. "Of course, my young lady. Why, let me just press the button to see if it actually works." He then pressed the obvious big red button on it, with it shaking violently as it exploded, warping to a different location entirely as Doof disappeared with it. Everyone gasped in shock as Candace farted louder.

"Oh no! What happened to him!?" Candace exclaimed as she placed her hands on her face, shaking her head as she let out another poot. "And where am I gonna find nice, clean panties to wear!?"


End file.
